How to get the dude


That dreaded time of the year for all single people like me is coming up and soon; Valentine’s Day. The day where all the single people pity themselves while all the lucky, taken ones are getting ready to spoil their significant other and be drowning in piles of flowers and chocolates and cute, cheesy cards. But have no fear, I am here to give all the tips and tricks on how to get a boyfriend.

My first piece of advice on how to get the guy is to look hideous wherever you go. That’s what I tend to do because you never know who you will meet to impress. Always look ugly so they are forced to love you because of what is on the inside. And plus, boys are always attracted to gross things so I promise that they will approach you. They always approach me! And if they don’t? Approach them. Chase them down if you have to. Anything to be noticed right?

Next step is to call them and text them first. If they don’t reply, keep doing it until they reply because they love multiple texts and calls. It doesn’t annoy them at all; it makes them feel wanted. It won’t make you seem clingy either, which is good because we all know that no one likes clingy.

Then, once you get a first date, make sure to NEVER order a salad on the first date and remember it’s OK to make a mess. Boys like a girl with a hearty appetite, and they love making messes. That is why their rooms are usually messy and they always tend to mess up a girl’s life—literally and figuratively. I can vouch for that.

Now that you’ve got them hooked, make sure to be super high maintenance because you are their queen. Let them shower you with flowers, kind words and texts; never settle for less. If they make you mad or if they’re mean, let them know it’s not OK. And by that I mean make sure you tell them multiple times they’re wrong for treating you like crap. If they keep doing it, treat them back the way they treated you. It’s not right but it makes things even and guys love when you act as immature as them! From my experience it definitely makes them even more attracted to you than they already were.

Lastly, keeping the boy is sometimes the hardest task. If you end up really liking him make sure to keep him around and throw around the “L” word. Say it first if you want to and say it proud... even if he doesn’t feel the same way! Then once you do, stop trying to keep him because guys hate when girls try to make them happy. It’s like totally annoying.

One more thing, never and I repeat NEVER get comfortable with a guy because they’ll end up leaving you or you’ll get bored of them. Comfortable means too close and too close is never good in relationships! You’ll get your heartbroken or be the one who breaks a heart and it’s only “cool” for guys to be heart breakers. That’s probably because most of them act like they don’t have hearts!!

Most guys don’t have hearts but as long as we remember that, we are determined to get the guy. Lure him in for Valentine’s Day and if you like him,

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