Merry without being married

Photo illustration by junior Hana Ghazi

First comes love, then comes marriage, right? Nowhere does the song mention our readiness for the commitment of a lifetime. As teenagers, we find ourselves flung into the crazy world of adulthood. At the age of 18, we are expected to figure out what to make of our lives. On the long checklist of life achievements, one could find marriage.

In our society today, the norm is to get married, and for most, that norm works. People get engaged and plan a big wedding, because that’s how it is ‘supposed’ to play out. We don’t really ever consider that we may not truly know who we are as people to make such a large commitment. Marriage is not something we can just dive into, but rather it is a steady climb with many ups and downs.

It is said we should know and love ourselves before we can fully love another. We should, essentially, be our own No. 1 priority. It seems as if people try to adapt their beliefs and things they like based on their partner, even if that’s not how they truly feel. We shouldn’t feel we have to ‘cave’ into what our partner enjoys just to please them. It is inevitable we will always be finding ourselves and discovering daily what we want in life.

Another consideration people should be aware of is sometimes they are only getting married for society. In the progression of our lives, most people are expected to tie the knot. This step usually happens in our 20s, which yet again, is a time in life where we are always changing and settling into adult life. For most people, it comes down to being financially stable and having a decent amount of money to share with their partner for

their future life together.

We expect to find our ‘one true love’ at this point in life and feel the need to get married because of this. Getting married because it is the ‘appropriate’ time in society is not a reason to get married. People find themselves with many aspirations in life whether it’s a career path or exploring the world. Because of these things, people may find it better to wait for marriage. This does not mean we should have to carry the “forever alone” title that society puts on us, for the rest of our life, just because we waited.

The question that should be asked is if it’s the right point in life to get married for each individual person. We shouldn’t feel we have to get married at a certain time because society tells us to. Like the old saying “if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?”, nowhere does it say we have to follow the flow.


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