A day in the life of a dog

Everyday I wake up on my queen-sized bed in a swaddle of fuzzy warm blankets. I do my stretches then jump off and wait by the bedroom door. My lazy person is still asleep, so naturally I bark to wake her up. I’m so helpful, but she doesn’t think so for some reason.

I just want her to get up so she can feed me. It’s dumb that I have to wait for her, if I wasn’t so small I’d do it myself. Plus, she’s stingy with the portions. I’m not sure what that’s about because I’m in perfect shape. I used to be an athlete, you know. Well sort of an athlete. I was amazing with a frisbee let me tell ya. I played goalie in soccer too, no one ever got a ball past me.

Now I like to spend my time curled up on the nice new couch Mom got for me. That’s what I do everyday, but she pushes me down all the time – which doesn’t add up because it is my couch. You can tell because I made an indent on top of the cushions, it’s so cozy.

But today is different. After my person walked out the door forever, Mom wasn’t there to play “push-me-off-the-couch-and-let-me-get-on-again”. In fact, I can’t seem to find her magical bag of fuzzy yellow circles either. She’s probably gone forever. I must warn the other dogs that our people have abandoned us to starve! And with no fuzzy yellow circles to make matters worse.

Well as long as we’re on our own, I’ll be in charge because I’m the oldest and most responsible. Or I can sleep on my couch all day…yeah that sounds good, I’ll do that. Hopefully Mom will come back to play our game. Maybe she’ll bring me fuzzy yellow circles…and treats.

My tall friend Max likes to steal our people’s foot clothes and run around the house with them. That’s what he’s doing right now. He’s such a show-off. Yes, we get it you can get away with being bad because you’re Mom’s favorite.

She spoils Max and it’s not fair. She always gives him the sweet frozen treats from the cold door. And she gives him more food than me! What’s the deal with that?? You know, I’ve had just about enough of Max always getting his way. And I have an idea…

Mom came home and she did not like my idea. I tried to frame Max but somehow she figured out the idea was mine. Now I’m in trouble and Mom won’t give me any fuzzy yellow circles. I was only trying to make her love me more than him. Why do bad things always happen to me? Oh well, I’ll try again tomorrow. All I have to do is create a bigger idea, then it will be more believable that Max is the culprit leaving ideas all over the house.

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