Today's the day
Beep. Beep. Beep.
The second I hear that alarm clock go off I jump right up and out of bed. Man I have never been more awake at 2:30 in the morning. I run into the bathroom, go to the restroom and brush my teeth, not even taking a single look in the mirror.
I had planned everything out in great detail, making sure that nothing would mess me up. I slept in my clothes for the day, and ate breakfast before I went to bed, allowing me to save time on this wonderful day. By 2:35 I am out the door speeding down the road in my Honda Civic on my way to Best Buy. Nothing will ruin my Black Friday.
As I pull up to Best Buy by 2:37, there are about ten people already lined up outside of the doors. Some had tents and sleeping bags, others had chairs and blankets.
I park in the back of the lot to have an easy escape route if need be, and I begin hauling out all of the things I packed last night: my cooler of fresh food, my thermos of hot chocolate, my sleeping bag and pillow, a baseball bat in case I need to fend anyone off, and of course coupon books to Best Buy.
As I quickly make my way to the back of the line not wanting anyone to jump in front of me, I get glares from the other ten people as if we’re fighting for our lives and not a discounted TV.
But of course, if someone’s going to be mean to me I’m going to be mean right back so I shoot my beating eyes over to them to let them know that I’m just as hardcore. I must’ve looked mean because they immediately looked away. With a smirk on my face, I turn away and begin unpacking my belongings for the long day to come.
At around 7:30, with the line wrapped around the entire building, I begin packing up my things. I make a mad dash for my car to put my belongings away, making sure that my spot in line would not be stolen. When I get back in line I do a few lunges and jumping jacks to prepare for what’s to come at 9:00.
As 9:00 rolls around, the line getting longer every minute, I feel the adrenaline rushing through my body as I think about what’s about to occur. I have my coupon books in one hand, and my credit card in the other, ready to pounce on the first discounted item or person I see.
Right on time, the poor soul in charge of unlocking the doors shows his face resulting in massive amounts of screaming and excitement, but also anxiousness. I look around and see such mean looks on people’s faces, so I scrunch my face up even more letting people know that I’m not here to joke around.
As the young man begins to open the doors, the people stampede the entrance, and once there is enough room for a body to get through the doors, the man instantly vanishes, as people scramble to get inside.
Just like that, all of the work I put into this is paying off right now. I stick out my elbows and run straight for the doors, not caring how many people I hurt in order to get that discounted TV.
Once I make it inside, it looks like the world is ending and everyone is scrambling for the last of the food on the earth.
Trying not to stop and stare, I sprint to the exact aisle where the TV’s are said to be. I spot one left on the shelf and I quickly make my way over to it, kicking a few people along the way. I grab that TV and hold onto it extremely tight as I make my way to the checkout.
As I get to the checkout, I can feel the ginormous smirk on my face thinking back on all the people I beat out in order to get this last TV. Handing over my coupon and credit card, I satisfyingly watch that TV become mine. I walk out of the store with my TV in hand wondering how that went so smoothly.
My next stop is Walmart. Maybe something exciting will happen there. I mean, it is the greatest shopping day of the year.
Ain't nobody got time for that
Only in America do people celebrate Thanksgiving—the day of giving thanks—and a day later go out at ridiculous times in the night to shop. The infamous Black Friday is a day of greed and gluttony, when people forget all about what they’re thankful for and instead do everything in their power to buy products at cheap prices.
I, for one, do not participate in such ridiculousness. Who wants to wake up at four in the morning to camp out in front of stores in freezing cold weather!? It amazes me that people bring tents and lawn chairs to wait in absurdly long lines for stores to open.
Besides, who even has time to go out and shop all day, beginning at ridiculous times in the night? I don’t know about you, but I have way better things to do with my time, and if you don’t, I suggest you reevaluate your life.
Waiting for stores to open is just the beginning, however. The real chaos starts when you finally get in the store. Stores on Black Friday are filled with pushing, shoving people who only care about getting the best deal on a product before somebody else does. I have never seen such selfishness and greediness in one place at one time, than I have in stores on Black Friday.
Not to mention, people have gotten seriously hurt because of Black Friday shopping. Remember the story in the news about the person from Walmart that got trampled and killed a few years back because of chaos during Black Friday? Yeah, that’s not going to happen to me. No amount of good deals or sale prices could be worth getting hurt or even trampled.
Also, in my experience, Black Friday doesn’t even offer that many deals that you wouldn’t be able to find during a regular sale. I went shopping on Black Friday a few years back (which was my last time) and couldn’t even find that many good deals. I left with not very many products and a giant headache.
My advice to shoppers out there is: only go shopping on Black Friday if you truly think it’s worth it. In my opinion, the stress, chaos and possibility for getting hurt is most definitely not worth some mediocre deals on products. But if you do decide to go shopping during Black Friday, all I have to say is: be careful and good luck.